June 30, 2010 § Leave a comment
The first commandment in my book is the drive for improvement. Simply put, I do not believe that people can change – AT ALL. You are who you are and will always be that person. The only glimmer of hope that we have is improvement. For example: I will always be attracted to complete and total assholes. It’s in my blood, and my history has not been an aid to this horrible disability. With that said, what I can do, and have done might I add, is 1. realize that assholes flock to me like moths to a flame, 2. recognize the warning signs in men that they are bad news, and 3. try my damnedest to extinguish that flame inside me that longs to bare light to them.
The difference between this and change is that I still am attracted to horrible guys, but I am more aware than ever of what I deserve, and what makes them horrible; then I flee ASAP! Another example for argument’s sake is that I am a prude. I am never going to be able to change that fact. I will never be able to go out and sleep with three guys in a week and wake up the next morning looking for more (as some girls I know do), but what I can do is learn why I am so afraid of sexual intimacy and strive to open up to members of the opposite sex more. Again: improvement over change.
And when it comes down to it, this is something we should all be working on. People who say they are happy with who they are and don’t feel the need to change for anyone or anything are actually accurate in a sense. That’s because even if they wanted to, they wouldn’t be able to change no matter who or what was driving their desire. On the other side, everyone has some aspect of themselves that they would like to be different, and those who say they don’t, quite frankly, are lying. Not just outwardly to the world they speak their lies to, but more so to themselves. They believe that if they can convince everyone around them that it will eventually become true. This does not go to say that confidence is frowned upon. On the contrary, improvement and confidence go hand in hand. Personal experience has taught me that the more I improve upon myself, the more confidence I have, which leads to the almost addicting urge for more improvement. I suppose I could have worse addictions.
So men and women alike: I challenge you. Make a list. A list of your flaws or maybe even your strengths. Make a list of what you want to improve in your life. Do not settle for accepting defeat which is what you do when you claim to be just fine the way you are. Life is constant evolution and at some point, it’s going to catch up to you. If you want to read more… pick up a book. If you want to enjoy life more… go do something crazy and spontaneous. If you want to help other more… grab a handful of clothes from your overflowing closet and donate them to Goodwill. And most importantly, if you want to find love…
Learn to love yourself.