An incredible edible post about nothing!
August 22, 2010 § 1 Comment
Okay, so I wouldn’t actually suggest eating this post, unless you’re a robot and computers are like a delicacy. Then, by all means, knock your socks off… or you know, your bolts.
I have been trying to get some thoughts together for the past couple of days to write an actual blog, but the reality is that my life is insanely boring and mundane currently since it’s the summer and I live on my computer. Honestly, my past couple of days have gone as such:
Check blackberry for messages
Go to the bathroom and tinkle
Look at self in the mirror sideways to see if I am any skinnier (I have lost 15 pounds in fact! It’s pretty exciting)
Go downstairs to eat breakfast
Watch Gilmore Girls (even though I’ve seen every episode a million times)
Wander upstairs and turn Toshibie on
Lie on belly on bed for the rest of the day reading blogs, Facebook stalking, playing Solitaire
Amiss all that I have begun packing, since I am moving back to school on Tuesday. That reminds me: I HATE PACKING! I’m always paranoid that I will forget something monumentally important, but on top of it, I hate that it requires so much for me to live. If I had it my way, I would take one bag with me no matter where I was going or for any duration of time. That’s not the case though. Last year I had my own room at school and it was a double so it was huge. This year I have my own single and it’s tiny, so I am trying to only take what I absolutely need. After packing and unpacking about four times, I still have a shit load of worthless crap. I need it all. It’s frustrating and sometimes I would like to light it all ablaze and watch with a bag of marshmallows.
Toshibie: I like to name inanimate objects in my life. For instance, my car’s name is Gustav, because he’s a very masculine car, and I simply don’t ride girls. My laptop’s name is Toshibie. My father bought him for me for college, and got the largest one he could find – I still don’t understand that one – so he’s a beast. Which implies that he’s a man. But he’s a homosexual. He tends to be very girly and does the dumbest things (this isn’t what I think of homosexual people BTW, just my thought process). Plus, he’s a girl’s best friend.
Now, a letter to my laundry!
I wish you would just do yourself. You irritate me. Like so much in my life, I hate that even though I wash you, I will have to wash you again in like a week – okay more like two because I have so much of you. It seems like a colossal waste of my time in which I could be playing with Legos or playing more Solitaire on my computer. You are keeping me from Solitaire! And it takes forever to finish you. If you were a lover, I would have given up long ago. And when I am at my father’s house, you are such an inconvenience because you are in the basement and I am in my room. This means I have to travel a great distance to get to you. And then, no matter how much I try, you always come out wrinkly in the end. Do not even get me started on then putting you away. I would like you to be more considerate to those around you.
Please remember that I do love you oh so much because you are my clothes, and I love clothes, and I will bring home more friends for you soon. Until then, stop being a pain in the ass.
Reasons why my computer thinks I’m a complete loser:
1. I play Solitaire like it’s my job. I will play for hours on end and not even realize.
1.b Not to mention there are so many times when there is a move that is right in front of my face and I become frustrated that I don’t have a move and then Toshibie points it out to me in such a gloating way. He’s all “Stupid biatch, the seven can go on the eight and you can win,” said in his flamboyant robotic voice.
2. I have a million spreadsheets. They are almost as addictive as Solitaire. So I now look like an uber nerd.
3. I can never find anything I save. I’m all “I will save this as a clever specific name so it will be super easy to find when I need it at a moments notice!” Then, I go to find it and it’s hiding. I get upset and swear.
4. I spend entirely too much time on my computer. Therefore, I have no life and he mocks me.
5. My guys friends have this lovely habit of coming over and pulling up pornography. So now I look like a lesbian also. Great, just peachy (no pun intended).
6. I have an unhealthy quantity of Miley Cyrus music on my iTunes.
7. I only have five friends on AIM. In my defense, I used to have over 200, but because I’m in college, and like no one uses it anymore, I only use it to talk to a handful of people. Toshibie doesn’t know this though. He thinks I have no friends.
I think that’s all I have for now. I promise that more will follow once I get back to school. But now I must go see friends.
SEE TOSHIBIE! I HAVE FRIENDS!